Missing You, a Ritual

waking up to empty pizza boxes
and styrofoam cups piled on the table,
it smells of marlboros and amaretto,
through the dull haze of sleep and smoke,
still hanging in the air from last night's shindig,
I see someone thrown facedown on the bed
and two more wrapped around each other on the sofa.
I peel myself from the love seat,
where I slept without all the love,
merely left with the taste of margarita vomit
and a nasty hangover
that threatens to beat me black and blue,
I light another cigarette
and pour the remaining contents of alcohol down the drain
before taking out the garbage
where the world seems greener,
the air is much crisper,
cool and fluid around my movements,
I let out a puff of smoke, a gray cloud of reality
that reminds me how much better it'd be if you were here.

Cadaver

dancing on the edge
of a razor blade,
let me give you a show
another twirl,
tiptoeing the cold
metal plate,
a river diverges
in the snow,
soft and pale
the warmth seeps
away, my fingers,
meaty icicles
numb to the touch,
I lay my arms out
and balance
on the penacle
of a disaster
that you
will not allow me.

Beautiful Garbage

133 pounds of baggage
makes me the most beautiful garbage.

In the end we're all disposable...

75% water down the drain
206 bones that go to the dog
750 muscles rotted with maggots
and 110,000 strands of hair turned to dust.

Decomposition starts early.

Skin sags, bones become brittle,
muscles ache, and color fades,
but I am always the most beautiful garbage;
with my scars and burns,
stretch marks and pimples,
big hips and humble breasts,
I am a fury of splendor!
a lover, a heartbreaker,
a friend, a relative,
I speak poetry and write truths,
I can cry and laugh
and dance and sing,
I feel pain and pleasure,
I have fought and struggled,

and, in the end, I'm rotten just the same,
but I'm always the most beautiful garbage.